Day 6... (Wednesday morning)...

(scroll to next post for video/photos).

(Spoiler Alert - If you do not want to be preached to then please, please do not read this post. I came back up to write this after writing the post because it is very serious and has little to do with camp. It was something that I just wrote after having my quite time and it is quite serious for lack of a better word. I struggled with actually posting it but I thought there may be just one out there reading this that may feel the same way. And, No, I am not going through a mid-life crisis or anything like that. I am very happy this morning and cannot wait to be with the children and just love on them for the rest of this trip. I do so miss my family at home right now too though and cannot wait to get back to you, I Love you!!!!)

This post this morning is really for me to just type and see what comes out. I am in tears right now as I types these words and think about these children and the lives that they will have in the future. It breaks my heart. I always tell myself that I will be able to come here and have fun, love on the children, play games but that it will not effect me on Friday when they leave. What I mean by that is that I will not be one of the volunteers that is just crying their eyes out and yet here it is Wednesday morning and I am already doing just that.

There is one child in particular that I am doing this for and I have struggled all night feeling guilty that it is not for all of them with the same emotion. Is that wrong? I can’t really say. All I know is that I believe 100% that He directs our paths and He has us where he wants to be.

I was reading James 1 this morning and before I came down to 1:27 which most of you probably know, it was a few verses higher, verse 22 to 24 or so, stood out more to me. It was about doing what the Word says. Just reading the words and believing them is simply not enough but we must step out in faith and act. Yes, there may be a sacrifice, more often than not, but what faith do we have if we sit back and do nothing. This life is but a vapor and the only thing that matters is the will of G. I know that I am far from a perfect being but I also know that I can strive to be a better one every day and just start each day new with the goal of “Loving G and loving others as yourself”. Do we ever really do this? Do we ever sit and contemplate what that means? Loving your neighbor as yourself. I challenge you who may be reading this, not to do this, but to sit and think about how much we do love ourselves and the things that we will not do for either fear or simply just selfishness. Think about the things that we will spend money on and the things that we will not. I tell myself all the time that money does not matter but how easy is that to say when you have it. Is it not out of abundance but out of little that we truly show our faith.

Yes, like I said, I am far from a perfect being but I try my hardest to look like one. But as I am here thousands of miles from home I think about the things that I call sacrifices in my life and I have to wonder how much of a sacrifice they REALLY are. If you do not know James 1:27, the verse is about taking care of the orphans and widows. I have been told several times that if just 10 to 20% of Christians would consider adoption there would not be a child in the world without a home. I don’t know how accurate that is but just think about it for a minute. What that really says is this: “If just 10 to 20% of Christians would do as the L commands, there would be no orphans”. Yes, I quote them because it is something that I am saying, not only to any reading this but to myself. I will admit that, yes, at times it is hard having four children and that we do go through days that are tough, but I ask you this: “What more did He do for us?”.... Is losing our 4 hours of television or hours of facebook time each night REALLY a sacrifice? Or giving up fast food and movies but rather investing or lives in the lives of the children. We are not put on this earth so that we may live comfortably in our recliners but we are put here for I believe a much higher purpose. Just think about it this morning or evening during your quite time. I challenge you to log your time for just one day and see where it is that your love truly lies. PLEASE, PLEASE do not think that each words I am saying is directed to you that read this any more than it is too me. There are a hundred fingers pointing back at me saying, “What about you?”. I have been away from home for almost a week with no email and guess what amazing thing happened, the world did not end. Crazy to think of, huh?

I do not apologize for getting on my soapbox this morning only because like I said at the beginning, this post is really for me. I had need to get these words down and even though I could have done this in my own personal journal, I would sit and wonder if any of you out there think the same things. This is not easy for me to put myself out there like this but how else do we grow then to share and encourage each other, to be open and transparent, to be willing to sacrifice and step out in faith as G intended us to do. No, I agree that I am far from a good preacher too, as you may notice from my writing but I do know that this day I am going to recommit my life to making Him L of my life. In everything, EVERYTHING that I do I will remember this verse, “No matter what conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel....” Phil 1:27, I believe. Not worthy of my parents, or my boss or my possessions, but the Gospel.

Hopefully this post makes it to the blog and I am not placed in prison but I just wanted to type and see what happened. I really felt that I was led to do this today. They are not my words that were planned out. I only asked G that he would help me to understand what it is he has for my life.

From somewhere half way around the world, Bill out.