So, here it is...the honest truth...
Life is very different now. There are days that I do not look forward to waking up. The idea of quite does not exist. The thought of going to the restroom in peace is a dream. The chance of cooking a meal without stepping on someone would be a miracle. BUT, would I change it...No!
As I was watching a movie tonight I was reminded of the reason we adopted. It wasn't for us...it was for them. To give a child Love, a Home, a Chance or simply Hope and Faith. The idea that a child would lay awake at night thinking their biological parents did not want them is just something that we cannot imagine. Then we tell them they are getting a mom and dad and expect them to trust us? We think we will just spoil them and life would be great. It just doesn't work that way. Trust, true trust, is earned and not with gifts and candy but LOVE! Yeah, it doesn't sound that hard huh? I have to be honest and say that it is harder than I thought it would be but it gets better each day.
I think the best part of this movie was then end. (spoiler alert). The daughter runs back to the father, gives him a huge hug and says "thank you". "for what", he says. "for wanting me"...
I think that says it all. It will be something that I will have to remind myself of daily. Not just with my children though but with my relationship with God. Do I ever thank Him for "wanting me"? Do I look at it that way? That He wanted Me. Do my children feel that way? That I wanted (want) them. I Hope they do.
So, like I said, it has been hard but gets better each day. We Love our children, ALL of them, and pray they know that. Not much else really matters.
As for life in the Byrne house, it is definitely more interesting. Yes, the quite is gone but the sound of laughter can sometimes be heard in abundance. The sounds of siblings running and chasing each other, giggling and even a few moments of hiding behind the couch and scaring each other may be found. Is there crying? Of course there is always at least one but that the same time there is always another standing there concerned about them. The concept that they are all brothers and sisters may not have fully sunken in but the fact that they now share the same mother and father, that they live under the same roof and that they are a family, I do believe is present. We can see the bonds forming and it truly is amazing. I can hardly believe it has only been a few weeks. It already feels like a life time ago when there were only 6 of us.
Meals...I can say that this has been a little challenge trying to figure out how much food to cook for 8. The problem is that some of them eat for two or three. Weird, I thought I was raising girls but I think someone forgot to tell them. They eat like teen boys, and not just H and M, but A and J too. I do have to say that the choices of food have gone over well. The funniest part is the food that I was SURE would not be accepted were a hit and even captured seconds. Lasagna, meatloaf (big surprise there), chicken and rice (not really a surprise there), French toast, egg sandwiches, pancakes, corn dogs, you name it - they eat it. On the down side...oatmeal, green apples (the ones in the McDonald's happy meals), and pears (which were a hit in China).
Manners...these have progressed very well. We get and abundance of "thank you mama" or daddy. We even just now started getting "excusa me" for burps. No there were no typos in that last one, funny Huh? They will close the bathroom door, most of the time. They do say your welcome. I guess the one we really need to work on is "please" though. That one does not exist. We most of the time feel like slaves with plates handed to us to clean or load with more food. I don't think it is intentional, I just think that please was not something that they were taught.
Bedtime...no fights yet. They have told us that 7 o'clock is too early for them, even though it is more like 7:30 or 7:45. They tend to round things in their favor. They say that they are not tired, all the time rubbing their eyes. We get hugs, kisses, laughing and giggling, and the normal bathroom games that we all have gotten. In the end it all goes smoothly (just takes about 20 minutes). Who knew putting kids to bed could wear you out so much???